One of the best words you can learn to say is ‘No’. How can you be comfortable saying the word no? Many of us have the Disease to Please, we are people pleasers by nature. We don’t want to hurt people’s feeling because then we feel bad and that’s no fun. You need to put your own needs first. You can learn to say no with practice. When someone asks something of you, take the time to understand why it’s important to the person asking, there is always a reason why. Listen to them, but be willing to say no. And say no often. “The difference between successful people and the very successful people is that very successful people say no to almost everything.” –Business Leader Warren Buffet
The way you say no will be the difference between maintaining respect versus damaging the relationship. Your no can still be kind, be honest and sincere when you respond back. For an example, you could say, “sounds like fun, but I will have to pass. Or I need to take a rain check.” It’s important to take care of your own priorities. But remember, relationships take time to build, and feelings can be hurt easily. Respond back to the request as quickly as you can. As soon as you decide the answer, provide a tactful no, this shows respect and shows the other person to reach out to somebody else. You cannot afford to keep revisiting the subject and the person making the request wants an answer. Continuing to go back to the dreaded request drains you of your energy and can rob you of your peace of mind.
Many people make the common mistake of ignoring the request. When you ignore the request you appear you are not listening and the other person sees you as disrespectful. Telling a person, no does not mean you are rejecting them, it’s you setting boundaries. How many times do you ask a person for a favor and there is dead silence? You can hear the clock ticking in the background. You start to feel uncomfortable. When you say yes and you really want to say no, it ends up costing you. When we overcommit we burn out. Play by your set of rules. Transparency allows someone to have the insight to understand why you said no, transparency means being honest and telling the truth. The Bible says, “Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth.” –John 17:17.
Be willing to repeat yourself as you may receive pushback. When asked why you said no, stay true to yourself and say no again. This shows you are listening to them but you are doing what you feel is best. Having integrity people respect you and you show people who you are. Dr. Phil says, “You teach people how to treat you,” I agree. When people ask you for a favor, and you do not want to, it’s going to take a good amount of courage to say no. Being selective and saying no can relieve you from any unnecessary pressures and put you back in control of your life. Keep your confidence and believe in yourself. This saves you time and energy to focus on what is important and excel. Looking at guidance from the bible, it states, “Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil. –Matthew 5:37.